Ralphie Syndrome

If you haven't seen "A Christmas Story" then I hereby consider you too far out of the loop to continue reading this post.

I mean, come on--it runs for 24-hours straight during Christmas.

I feel a special connection to this movie because it's set in my stomping grounds: northwest Indiana. More specifically, it's set in Hammond, a stone's throw away from my front door.

But this post is not a movie review or some syrupy nostalgic journey down memory lane. I have discovered a relevant connection to the job search and this immortal cinematic experience.

In the movie (and yes, I will explain in case you didn't take my advice and are still reading without having a clue as to what this movie is about...which by the way, shame on you for 1.) not ever seeing it and 2.) not listening...but I digress...), Ralphie, the main character through which the story is told, wants a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. After every request he's met with the same roadblock: "You'll shoot your eye out kid."

Even Santa agrees, and proceeds to kick Ralphie down a very long slide and back into his sad reality.

But Ralphie is persistent, going so far as to write an essay arguing his choice for a Christmas present.

This is where the job-hunt comparison begins. So listen up, kids.

Before turning in his "theme" (that's what they called essays back in the day...even when I was a kid in the 80's...), Ralphie imagines his teacher's joy in reading what he considers to be the best essay ever. After failing the rest of the class in Ralphie's daydream, his teacher, Miss Shields, comes to Ralphie's essay. In his work she finds relief and adoration, going to far as to give him an A + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +...writing the pluses on the walls of the classroom.

The class cheers. Ralphie is a hero. He has turned in the best essay ever written.

In his mind, he has written the most amazing theme in the history of the 4th grade, nay, the world.

Unfortunately, Ralphie's expectations are quickly shattered when he receives a "C" on the paper and a little note from Miss Shields: "You'll shoot your eye out."

What does all of this have to do with the job hunt? (I can hear you asking, Sally. Be patient. I'm getting there...)

I have sent out many resumes and with them have included what I considered to be a very unique and effective cover letter. I've had visions of sugarplums...wait, wrong story, visions of potential employers walking out of their offices upon reading the thing and holding a ticker-tape parade all the way to my front door: "Hip hip hooray! Tiffany is what we've been waiting for!"

Unfortunately, like Ralphie, I've only been met with, well, not even a "C" and a little note. I've been met with crickets. Silence. Nothing.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not arrogant. I know that my work isn't the freshest, best thing the world has ever seen, but I did think it was a unique and effective approach. And, I wasn't asking for a weapon that could possibly lead to the need for a glass eye. I was asking for a chance to get to know me. An opportunity to just give me a chance to show a prospective employer that I just might be someone they would find helpful.

Ralphie Syndrome.

That's what it is. It's thinking that your dreams and your approach mean as much to everyone else as they do to you. But the harsh reality is that it simply isn't true.

Sometimes you're forced to stand in humiliation a la a pink bunny suit before your hard work and determination pays off.

In the movie, Ralphie gets his BB gun, and oddly enough he does in fact injure his eye. (He also drops the F-bomb...another feeling often associated with job-search rejection...)

I guess all I can do is continue to better my techniques and go through some humiliation and defeat before it all pays off. Only I truly hope the big payoff doesn't result in ocular injury...